Who needs reparations? Not Africa!

by Ikhide R. Ikheloa

Who needs reparations? Not Africa. Centuries from now, uncommon sense will return to African thinkers and there will be a new dawn of fresh thought: A deadly combination of black leadership kleptocracy and Western liberal guilt has harmed Africans more than slavery and colonialism.  Even in the face of overwhelming evidence that Western aid does nothing but enrich African kleptocrats, Western do-gooders continue to heap gobs of US dollars on the “dispossessed” of Africa in the hopeless hope that the problem will go away. Haiti is a problem that was caused by that “little” problem called slavery. Haiti the Problem has remained intractable despite billions of dollars of “aid” funneled through 10,000 NGOs allegedly helping the Haitians through the trauma of their slavery, oppression, poverty, etc. Today, Haiti is still so poor, it is a fourth world nation.

Serious attempts to address the horrible consequences of slavery have been undermined by the arrogance of Western liberals and some African intellectuals who vehemently deny that Africa should be responsible for her own sins. Dialogue is driven underground as new thought is met with the unnecessary roughness of the liberal left, led by black Africa’s self-styled uncle – the great white liberal hope. Ask David Brooks of the New York Times. Recently, he mused aloud about Haiti and responsibility (the personal type). He was heckled off the square of common sense and called all sorts of names, racist, being the most benign of all of them. Brooks will never reminisce aloud again on matters affecting black folks. Who needs the stress? A cat that has sat on a hot stove will never sit on a stove again, ever.

Take the reparations movement. The only thing striking or remotely unique about the reparations movement is its incoherence of thought and vision. What is the problem that its founders are trying to solve? It does not help that some of the leaders of the reparations movement in America have been famous for shamelessly forming lucrative liaisons with some of Africa’s deadliest buffoon-leaders starting with dead dolts like Idi Amin and Mobutu Sese Seko. Different strokes for different folks. It is not slavery when it is black folks doing it to poor black folks. And of course, white liberals, ever so patronizing and avuncular go tsk tsk and look the other way. Where is the outrage?

The reparations movement has attracted a self-selected group of black activists who tend to color their opinions to match the color of green – money. They are outraged by slavery and mark my words, like thieving pedestrians who run into a bus that has just been hit from behind, they are lining up for payback. It serves the white man right, he should never have gone fishing for slaves in West Africa in the first place- capitalism would have provided him all the slaves he needed at 40 percent interest per credit card.

How much are the reparationistas looking to harvest from the offspring of our odious slave owners? Who gets credit for the trillions of aid funneled into Africa and promptly stolen and repatriated to Swiss Banks by thieving African leaders? Who gets credit for the trillions in welfare programs and affirmative action set asides, etc, that have been expended all these years? Before you start yelling, I am a firm believer in affirmative action. I believe also that the state has a moral, if not legal responsibility to ensure the welfare and prosperity of the downtrodden. So there! I am a liberal. Confused enough? Let’s continue.

Don’t get me wrong: Africa needs help. However, thanks to the ineptitude and savage greed of African leaders, all attempts to infuse badly needed aid into Africa have been as useful as giving a hog in a latrine a bath. The trillions of dollars of aid that have been given to Africa have done nothing for anybody I know except the NGO pimps riding around Africa’s desolation in a convoy of tinted SUVs. How about this for reparations: Scour all of the banks in the West, find all of Africa’s stolen funds, load them onto airplanes and drop them on the long suffering peasants of Africa? Now, that would be reparations.

African Americans who have been wronged by African and white kingdoms in that shame called slavery deserve to have a real conversation about what shape, if any, reparations should take. And I agree wholeheartedly with Professor Skip Gates: The question of restitution should include African perpetrators. That we are destitute should not make us any less culpable. There is a new slavery going on today, black on black slavery. In the name of democracy and capitalism, black leaders of all stripes are busy raping, pillaging and carting away what is not welded to the ground. I say to the African, forget the white man, and turn your rage on your real oppressors. They are black. Like you. Now, if the white man is still rich and foolish enough to offer monetary reparations, I want mine, every penny of it. In hundred dollar bills. I said it. Sue me. I am too broke to care.